Monday, August 23, 2010
Lack of focus and the attention span of a three-year-old is making it very difficult for me to keep up with Blogging lately.
A thousand apologies to people I usually communicate more with. Not that I have many fans/followers/friends, but you know, just in case. I do miss reading other people's posts.
It feels like all I do is piss and moan about being pregnant, or just plain piss and moan, because I am after all, incredibly miserable. My BFF can verify that! :) I'm not nice, not even to her! She's the one who actually named this Post. It's actually what she calls ME lately! And I do love her, but my out-of-control emotions are even too out-of-control for ME!!! I piss myself off too often, send myself to time-out. But no one ever lets me STAY there long enough.
There are many parts of me unhealed and broken. And all I can do is take it "one day at a time" (a favorite line of mine imprinted in my head and heart by another dear heart). I am in an insane amount of pain on a daily basis, and nightly (yes, even while I sleep, or try to). And this tends to make me INSANE!!! Sometimes it is even difficult to walk! And I'm barely halfway through the pregnancy. So I believe I am in for some major misery, especially since my little button has REALLY started to grow!
I am ecstatic to be having another baby. I do really want a large family. I just wish I could WISH all the babies here!! Or let Daddy make a few!
And recently learning that the doctor who discovered the split in my pelvis after having my daughter (she was 10 lbs. 13 oz and had to be taken by emergency c-section) three and a half years ago COULD have actually fixed it and DIDN'T makes me one angry pregnant woman!!!
So, I am not going to stress about more than I actually need to at this time. I am basically declaring right here and now that I am on sabbatical from Blogging for a while. And from doing all the awesome art projects and scrapbook projects that are in my head. And from focusing on my company as much as I want to. And basically from focusing at all. I have the memory of a goldfish right now (3 seconds for those who didn't know). If I happen to make a post, I'll be ecstatic! But I'm not holding my breath on any major or minor accomplishments right now, save for making it through this pregnancy alive!